Being Home Again

Before my plane landed and after arriving in my hometown, the LORD brought me to the places in scripture which kind of dampened my arrival like a wet blanket..."A prophet is not honored in his own country or his own household." (How true that has been here.) I know He was forwarning me, and to be forewarned is forearmed. But, it is hard when those you love or once knew are lost, in pain and there is nothing you and the LORD can do to help.. because they will not recieve it.


These here knew me (once.. perhaps).. saw me grow up.. knew my sin, saw my mistakes.. and yet.. even though 'I am not who I once was' thanks to GOD.. people have a hard time recieving anything from you.. especially family. when they knew you before..they cannot seem to hear or see you in the NOW.. they are too busy living in the past and the saddest part is that they themselves have not grown and changed. They are the same as well...only deeper in bondage.


Today I met a man I knew on the street 10 years ago, and he and his wife say they are Christ's... but they have not changed. Right away..  he revealed his same deep issues of pain, and spoke of all of the things that he has and has done and how ill his wife is. I heard the same person in the same place... My eyes were also opened to many others in the same state... lost or religious.. no change.. except maybe worse in the state they have always been in.


So.. I come home to a place where the enemy seems to rule in the lives of those I know.. and even when confronted in love with the truth.. they choose to stay poor, blind and naked.


There are times when I momentarily envy these people.. only in the sense that they do not wrestle to lay down their lives.. in some sense they SEEM FREE to live as they choose.. according to what is 'right in their own eyes'.. but the truth is they are marching blind into hell because they will not be led by the Spirit of GOD.. they will not lay down their lives for Him.. although they will say HE laid down His life for them.


They STILL are their own gods.


I may be broken and sinful in many ways as yet.. but I will not follow in their paths. I will continue to wrestle with GOD to get my new name and I will continue to lay down my life for Him and for others.. and that I may..'get well'. It is no easy thing this Road.. but it is BEST!


Thanks LORD!