He Holds Back the Waters



Today I have 'memorial stones' of God's unconditional love at my worst. The mighty waters rose...over my head... and there was nothing I could do. To assert myself, I would have gotten nowhere.. although I did that just a few times to no avail. Also, I would have hurt feelings. I guess I did anyway in my futile two attempts.

What do you do when the 'waters' of someone else's stuff...comes at you full force? You try and talk or reason with them.. and it is as if they cannot hear you. What you say is 'interpreted' through their own junk filters.. and so what you say they never get anyhow.. it is twisted oh so grossly. I sat there and just shook my head. Nothing has changed. By the time the end of the day came I was praying.. but not nice prayers.. shame on me. I flunked christianhood today.

As I got some time to myself.. I felt a heat fall on my right side... it was the LORD letting me know He was there..even in the middle of my 'mess' and 'messiness!' Without condoning my ratty silent attitude and diatribe.. He simply touched me and said.."I understand." I repented.. but I'm not sure I did that well for long either.

Tonight when we arrived home.. I saw the Bible I had left in the chair by the computer. I remembered what He taught me this morning:

In Joshua 4:6-8.. the LORD showed me a picture of Jesus.. my High Priest.. interceding for me.. even as I was crossing over this 'mucky place' I was in. How the Holy Spirit drew back the waters while the Father held my hand. I'm not proud of myself today at all. I did not do well by my own standards or by the Word's.. but He loves me, washes me, fills me anew and carries me.. what more can I ask or be thankful for!

Being Home Again

Before my plane landed and after arriving in my hometown, the LORD brought me to the places in scripture which kind of dampened my arrival like a wet blanket..."A prophet is not honored in his own country or his own household." (How true that has been here.) I know He was forwarning me, and to be forewarned is forearmed. But, it is hard when those you love or once knew are lost, in pain and there is nothing you and the LORD can do to help.. because they will not recieve it.


These here knew me (once.. perhaps).. saw me grow up.. knew my sin, saw my mistakes.. and yet.. even though 'I am not who I once was' thanks to GOD.. people have a hard time recieving anything from you.. especially family. when they knew you before..they cannot seem to hear or see you in the NOW.. they are too busy living in the past and the saddest part is that they themselves have not grown and changed. They are the same as well...only deeper in bondage.


Today I met a man I knew on the street 10 years ago, and he and his wife say they are Christ's... but they have not changed. Right away..  he revealed his same deep issues of pain, and spoke of all of the things that he has and has done and how ill his wife is. I heard the same person in the same place... My eyes were also opened to many others in the same state... lost or religious.. no change.. except maybe worse in the state they have always been in.


So.. I come home to a place where the enemy seems to rule in the lives of those I know.. and even when confronted in love with the truth.. they choose to stay poor, blind and naked.


There are times when I momentarily envy these people.. only in the sense that they do not wrestle to lay down their lives.. in some sense they SEEM FREE to live as they choose.. according to what is 'right in their own eyes'.. but the truth is they are marching blind into hell because they will not be led by the Spirit of GOD.. they will not lay down their lives for Him.. although they will say HE laid down His life for them.


They STILL are their own gods.


I may be broken and sinful in many ways as yet.. but I will not follow in their paths. I will continue to wrestle with GOD to get my new name and I will continue to lay down my life for Him and for others.. and that I may..'get well'. It is no easy thing this Road.. but it is BEST!


Thanks LORD!

A Change of Perspective

 I was reading, in one of my books, the story of a man who blindly chased his hat on a windy afternoon into the middle of the street and was killed. The words stated: "He lost everything chasing nothing." How I stand convicted....


In coming back home.. I realize that most of my time and effort has been in chasing things blown around by the 'wind'.. things I may never obtain. Idols? perhaps. The things that I desire are good, I believe but there are no guarantees they will ever be realized... but now I understand how they have blocked my view and have threatened to take over my focus.


I guess it is easy to get distracted.. even by what we think is good.


Tonight I had to do some more soul searching and sever those things that cling and steal Life from me, because I have invited them and feed them. I have to learn how not to pay attention to them anymore or listen to their calling.. but to SEEK GOD and HIS KINGDOM FIRST and to let HIM take care of 'ALL THESE THINGS' as HE chooses.


Running LEAN without the added baggage will be good. I know I'll be lighter, swifter, more peaceful and more joyful. Show me how to let go GOD.. and give me a new perspective.

When the Mighty Waters Rise

I went to a service at the Rescue Mission last night. Funny and neat is that every time I go into a service, the Lord meets me there and the message and music speak about what 'was, is, or what will come' into my life. Last night was no different.. except all 3 would be in play by the time I got home.


The Lord had said to me that 'my life was going to be totally different.. changed.. by September 24th.. it's happening.. but at least I felt comforted more or less by the fact that I had a home to be and rest in. Although I knew that to be temporary, I was not ready to hear the news that I heard when I walked in the door last night. "The house is up for sale, and we need to begin to look for another place to live."


For those of you who do not know, we just moved to Las Vegas in June from the east coast. We left all behind at the word of the Lord and just came to the west coast with a few meaningful and necessary items.. not to mention our 4 wonderful dogs!


I am adventurous and love to travel.. I even love change.. but THIS.. this.. seems like WAY to MUCH! No family, no friends, no job, no ministry, personal and relationship issues, a house still waiting to be sold back home, debt, a car that needs replacing soon, and well.. just everything that once was fairly nailed down is now NOT. Everything it seems was in some kind of boat just moving forward and now it is on the Mighty Sea of Turmoil.. things have been tossed out of the boat and are floating around some place... just out of order.. and out of my reach.


I'm not sure if this does not describe it better... let's say you are an astronaut and you and your stuff are safe in the Ship. Suddenly the Door opens and you and your STUFF are carried OUTSIDE into DEEP SPACE and are floating around. Thank God I am tethered to Him... and my stuff is too.. I guess.. but it just seems like CHAOS... which I hate.


This morning after hearing my 'cry' last night.. the Lord lovingly and graciously took me to Psalm 32:6 & 8. "Therefore, let everyone who is godly pray to You while You may be found. Surely..when the mighty waters rise, they will NOT reach him."


"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will counsel you and watch over you."


"I will not fail you, nor abandon you." Joshua  1:5


Last night I felt deep within that there was nothing to worry about... in fact, I knew it. I think what I struggle with most is being totally surrendered at times.. though it is right and good.. I just know that I am not in control of what happens and when life gets where 'the mighty waters rise' and is tumultuous.. I feel the winds and sometimes grow weary... 


But.. my God knows what He is doing, when, and how.. and I will trust Him.

Living in The Shadow of Things to Come

Was, Is, Is to Come... That's what God's view is always like, because there is no time in Eternity. He is Everywhere and sees Everything at once. When we stop to think..really consider... that God has counted the grains of sand in the universe and knows each of them by number... we cease to worry, and we begin to truly know He is a BIG GOD.

As I was reading Hebrews 8 this morning the Lord showed me a picture of the Temple in the Old Testament... the Shadow.. if you will of the Church in the New Testament and of our Temple Bodies offered as Living Sacrifices to God.

However, He also showed me Jesus, our High Priest standing and interceding in Heaven for us as the picture of the perfect Temple, having offered the perfect sacrifice and gifts.. Himself.

Shadows: 

Was: Old Testament priests, sacrifices, gifts offered to God...imperfect

Is: The Church and each of us offering ourselves to God as Living Sacrifices..following Christ's example, though imperfect still.

Is to Come: The Day when we too are as Christ..offering ourselves  as He does,.. perfectly and purely with our whole hearts to the Father.

Was, Is, Is to Come.. we live in this Eternal state as well,.. even though we are presently bound by time.

Jesus always sets the example and is the only Model to follow. For one day we will awake, as the psalmist says..."In His Image and Likeness" to the Glory of God the Father!

I am losing my religion and gaining His Heart.